Right Writers

Friday, September 29, 2006

Shoreline Scramble by Jockulater13* (3A)

As I walk down the shoreline of Crashboat Beach, I search the crystal water for the biggest waves. I feel the smooth sand under my feet and smell the food that Mom had packed for the day. Soon we are all swimming in the bright blue Atlantic Ocean. As I am knocked off my feet by the strength of the waves, I get a mouthful of the disgusting taste of salt water. I rub the drops from my eyes and realize I'm being pulled away from the shore. I've been caught in a riptide. I see that my sister has been caught too. I scream for help. My dad and uncle see us, and they race into the waves to catch me and my sister before we are swept out for good. We walk back to shore and decide that we've had enough fun for one day.

Labels:

8 Comments:

Blogger rightwriters said...

I liked how you said "As I get knocked off my feet by the strenth of the waves, I get a mouthful of salt water"
and I like the ending!


Horsefeathers10

2:53 PM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

I liked how you said "As I get knocked off my feet by the strenth of the waves, I get a mouthful of salt water"
and I like the ending!


Horsefeathers10

2:54 PM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

I liked "discusting taste of salt water", I could imagine how that tasted. You did a good job at keeping the reader interested! :]

Pickle13

5:32 PM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

You might want to capitalize your title. I didn't do it on a couple of mine and saw yours.

Nirrok 10

11:30 AM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:58 AM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

sorry horizon11

12:00 PM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

I like crystal water. god job!


care-bear10

2:19 PM  
Blogger rightwriters said...

woops... good job

2:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home