Right Writers

Friday, September 22, 2006

Peace Child by The Jockulater13 (2B)*

Don Richardson was a missionary who went to one of the most uncivilized jungles of New Guinea. He taught the barbaric cannibal tribes who had never even seen a white man before. He preached to them about the love of God and of his self-less son, Jesus. He was a brilliant man who learned their complicated language and changed all their cannibal traditions. He was truly a very faithful man who risked his life to teach the most uncivilized people in New Guinea about God and His Peace Child.

This won the "Most Improved Post" Award--for a post that was good to begin with, but the author found excellent ways to improve it.

2 Comments:

Blogger rightwriters said...

I like how you discribe your main thought right up front.
Nirrok 10

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Brilliant," "barbaric" and "complicated" are nice adjectives. You added some of them later--right? Good editing!

Just check your verb tenses to make sure they are all past tense.

Nice job!

3:38 PM  

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