Riding Free by Horsefeathers10 (3A)
The feel of the firm horse breathing heavily underneath me makes me tingle all over! The smell of horse sweat mixed in with the dusty alfalfa is never a new smell. I mount my tall friend and we head straight for the gravel arena. In a few minutes we are trotting swiftly across the smooth hard ground. The sound of hoofs beating in rhythm, the refreshing wind whistling over the open fields and the voice of my teacher reaches my numb ears. I look at the muddy pasture where three horses are trying their best not to get any of the icky mud on their legs. The warm body of the horse underneath me is comforting. There is a beautiful sky and it's a wonderful day. I feel like I'm riding free!
This post won the "I'm Right There With You" Award.
posted by rightwriters @ 11:24 PM
5 Comments:
I rilly love how you based it on what you enjoy. Nirrok 10
This is a very cute paragraph. I can really imagine everything you're saying. You may want to add some adjectives and good verbs here and there but other than that it was a really good post! You're a really good writer! :]
Pickle13
horsefeathers10 you make it sound so professional, if i didn't know you were a rider i would for sure know it after reading your amazing work. Good job
i think that you did an AMAZING job with this i love it nice work
Horsefeathers--
I noticed you made some nice additions like "firm horse," "dusty alfalfa," "numb ears" and "my tall friend." Really great!!
Your new ending is nice too, but I liked your old ending better--the last line mirrors your title and your main idea:
I look at the muddy pasture where three horses are trying their best not to get any of the icky mudd on their legs. There is a beautiful sky and it's a wonderful day. I feel like I'm riding free!
...and the detail about the horses trying not to get mud on their legs is a good image I can really SEE.
This ending also sums up the mood of the paragraph so well!
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